Since I was a small child I knew in my heart that I was so much more powerful than the people around me gave me credit for. I remember the indignant thoughts in my little head as I was “taught”(insert shamed and belittled) how to be small and subserviant. I was taught that being bold and strong was was unappealing, that stating the truth, how you feel or what you need is selfish, that girls are supposed to be pretty and make others happy. That means letting boys win games even though you know you can take them. It means backing down in an argument if someone gets upset even if you are right. It means “knowing your place” which was always seen and not heard.
It is no wonder that I withdrew within myself and became such an introvert. It was safer that way. People were mean and didn’t care how I felt or what I thought unless it agreed with them. I often wondered why others got to express their feelings and I was scolded and disciplined for showing mine. And because I am also a very peaceful soul I backed down instead of fighting to assert my place. I was the good girl.
Now in a perfect society, the good girl should be praised, taken care of and honored. But in this society, she just becomes a slave to everyone else’s desires and gets her need neglected while the screaming brats get coddled, comforted and given extra cookies. The bigger the mouth and ego the more you get what you want from others seems to be the rule.
It’s a Cinderella mentality. The honorable peaceful child is continuously knocked down by the bully’s and she backs down because she is out numbered. Getting into fights hurts, she doesn’t want to hurt anyone, she doesn’t like being hurt. They are physically stronger and she can’t win playing their game. If the good girl is patient and kind a nice prince will come along, see her worth and rescue her from the cinders raise her up to her rightful place as queen…
We all know it doesn’t work that way though. She may find a prince, but chances are he will be attracted to her beauty and the fact that she is sweet and kind and can meet all his needs and desires but hers are still left unfulfilled. She finds herself upgraded to a nicer prison cell instead of set free….
The key is as Bob Marley put so eloquently…
“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.”
If you want to quit being treated small and insignificantly. Stop treating yourself that way.